Q: My manager talks at us during our weekly meetings and everyone is multi-tasking the whole time. What can I do?
A: Multi-tasking through a poorly-run meeting, not only increases mistakes and mental fatigue, it also represents a tremendous opportunity cost: what could have been achieved if all those people were fully present and engaged in the meeting at hand?
The STANDing meetings framework lever for fixing this meeting is Access: Pathways for Contribution. For a healthy regular meeting, there should be a clear mechanism for attendees to add items to the agenda, so not everything is coming from the meeting leader. And everyone should be clear on how they can engage in the discussion when it’s not their topic, with each agenda item designed for structured engagement.
If you were the meeting leader, fixing this would be straightforward! But since this is your manager’s meeting, we need to get a little more creative.
Ask your manager "access" questions one-on-one
“What’s the best way to get a topic on the agenda for our team meeting?”
“What criteria do you use when deciding how to build out the agenda?”
“What kind of information do you need in advance?”
“When it’s not a topic I’ve brought, what’s the best way for me to engage in the meeting?”
Asking these questions might be enough to trigger more intentionality. Your manager might never have thought deeply about this before.
If they seem open and reflective, you might say, “this is so helpful, do you think we could share this with the whole team to get everyone on the same page? I wasn’t aware this is how you thought about it and it’s possible others aren’t either.”
Tip: if that feels politically risky or if they become defensive, you can try saying, “I eventually want to lead a team later in my career and it would be so valuable to learn more about how you approach running the team meeting.”
Offer to lead or help prepare
Sometimes the root cause of this meeting style is your manager being overwhelmed; other times leading meetings is not their strength. If meeting leadership genuinely interests you and is aligned with your strengths and/or professional development goals, try asking to lead:
“As part of my professional development…
- “…could I shadow you as you prep this meeting?”
- “…could I lead the meeting once in the next month?”
- “…could I lead X component?”
Then instead of telling them what’s wrong, show them the benefits of a different meeting leadership style.
What if making suggestions isn’t a viable option?
If you have a contentious relationship with your manager and worry they’ll perceive any of the above as a critique or you angling for their job, you might choose to focus on what is completely within your control.
Focus on your own contributions
- When you have a topic to bring to the meeting, ask for time on the agenda and structure your allotted time for maximum engagement
- As tempting as it is, resist the urge to multi-task yourself. Instead, take notes, ask questions, focus on how you can engage. This is something I’ve worked at myself over the last few years. I need to keep my hands busy otherwise I find myself scrolling! I keep fidget spinners on my desk or take meticulous notes to stay focused.
Run a sneaky warm-up and/or check-out.
Simply arrive a few minutes early and ask one person a light question. Then build on it as others join: “so-and-so and I were just talking about X. What about you?”
The same move works on the way out of the room or as people log off. Ask a simple question, then ask someone else.
Without asking permission or calling it out, you can use those questions to build connections, context, and team engagement in the meeting.
Ask yourself
What is one open-ended question I can ask the meeting leader to plant seeds for change?
What is one action within my control this week?
